Mother’s Day Madness Edition

Veo video

While the rest of Wellington was busy delivering flowers and burnt toast to their mums, Frothers FC were busy delivering chaos at the football field. On a sleepy Sunday evening, with just one brave soul on the bench, Frothers lined up in their regal purple kits, ready to face off against the green machine of Didier Koffi—a team that clearly celebrated Mother’s Day by stealing everyone else’s players.

1-0 – Didier Koffi

The match started tight and well-contested, until the backline gave the ball away like a cheap brunch voucher. Didier capitalised and slotted it home. 1-0.

1-1 – Frothers

Just before half-time, Farshid was shoved so hard in the back that he’s now eligible for Airpoints. The referee, for once with his eyes open, pointed to the spot. Lance, cool as ever, converted it. 1-1. Mothers everywhere shed a proud tear.

1-2 – Frothers

The second half started like a dream. Frothers dominating possession like they were Pep Guardiola’s long-lost cousins. A corner was won on the left. Farshid sprinted over screaming “LET ME COOK” like a Michelin-starred madman. James, intimidated by the fine system and Farshid’s volume, wisely backed off. Farshid, channelling Pirlo after a triple espresso, curled in a beauty and Jacob rose like a salmon in slow motion. 1-2 Frothers. Poetry.

2-2 – Didier Koffi

Didier struck back after the ref—now clearly preparing for bed with his blindfold on—called a perfectly clean Angus tackle as a foul. A top bins free kick followed. 2-2.

2-3 – Frothers

James, on a personal mission to humiliate every defender on the left wing, earned a free kick. This time, he took matters into his own (non-Pirlo) hands and whipped a stunner into the box. Doube, perfectly placed, nodded it in. Redemption arc initiated. 2-3.

3-3 – Didier Koffi

But like a Greek tragedy, Doube’s hero moment lasted exactly 5 minutes before he two-footed someone into next week inside the box. Penalty. Ryan tried. Didier scored. 3-3.

3-4 – Frothers

Frothers, refusing to let this one slip, went all-in. James threaded a delightful ball through, and Oli—channeling his inner pickpocket—nicked it from a defender and buried it. 3-4 Frothers. Cue celebrations.

4-4 – Didier Koffi

Then, disaster. Angus stuck out a leg, Didier fell like he’d been hit by a sniper, and the ref—still on silent mode—pointed to the spot again. The foul was outside the box, but so was logic at this point. 4-4.

Even a collective shouting match at the referee couldn’t reverse the decision. At full-time, Frothers walked off feeling like Barcelona after the Inter semi-final in Champion League: beautiful football, robbed by officiating from another planet.

Man of the Match

Jacob – rock solid, header wizard, and played like he was auditioning for a Netflix docuseries.

Dick of the Day

Lance, for this immortal quote:

“This is the most one-sided referee we’ve ever had.”

A moment of truth wrapped in frustration.

See you next week, if the refs don’t get us first