Cooler than a polar bear’s toenails

This one goes out to the greatest, Ray Hudson.

Riding into the tail-end of the season looking to open up the lead at the top of the table the Frothers had a fresh lineup. Chris and Travis were back from injury, Lance was out with a new tamatāne and there was a Frothers Oldboy in town for the game, guys name was Yarride 🤷‍♂️.

With a couple of the Frother’s organising committee out for the match, the first XI was still being decided right up until kickoff. The Frothers managed to switch on from the whistle though, pinning Valley in their own half and putting the pressure on. The Frothers were struggling to find their final ball, however, with most of the danger coming from high balls into the box.

The breakthrough came when Sanny drove into the box and was roughed off the ball. Credit to the ref for calling the penalty for what was an obvious foul, but rarely called.

Running like he’s got a food mixer down his shorts and it’s set to beat

With Yarride on the bench, there was no obvious penalty taker on the pitch. Seeing his chance, Chris wrestled the ball off the surrounding players and put it on the spot. Looking to redeem his last penalty which came off the crossbar against the same opposition. There was to be no repeat as he hit it hard into the top left corner.

Sweeter than a mother’s kiss at bedtime.

The Frothers had the majority of the opportunities for the remainder of the half. A ball by Evan across the goal and sucked the goalkeeper in. Yarride was off like a prom dress but could only put the ball over.

Normally would have finished it off with half a dozen blindfolds on

The first half ended on a sour note as a Valley defender stomped over Tavis ending his comeback game.

If football doesn’t work out for him he will always have a job in a butcher shop

The second half was a battle of the midfield. Both teams were pushing for a goal but couldn’t find a rhythm. Both keepers commanded their boxes well.

They may not be the most illuminating with the football, but, man, they are tighter than a fish’s backside

Man of the Match

Goes to the big man with drama in his veins, Chris. A clean sheet, goal, and 90 mins back from injury were enough to get this one.

Dick of the Day

No clear standouts for this one. Don’t need to force it.

Absolutely magnificent in orgiastic proportions. I’m telling ya people, that was just hotter than Jessica Rabbit